Sometimes you miss someone so much but you know you can't do anything about it. The memories are still etched somewhere, buried deep within the crevices of your mind. Perhaps kept away under the bed along with objects that ought to be thrown away with them. You pretend nothing ever happened and continued on with your life. Strangers fleeting in and out, the ones who never stayed longer than you hoped they would. You're exhausted. You breathed in  deeply.

You're going to be okay buddy. 

Sweet Dreams are Made of This

I find it really unsettling that at this age, I am still figuring out what to do in life while other people are either getting hitched or already on their path to chasing papers. It seems as though I have not put enough thoughts into it when in contrary, I do. God I really do. It's just that after a while it gets exhausting when life doesn't turn out the way you plan it. Sure, I'm grateful for how my life is thus far and I honestly. for a second would not think it'll turn out the way it is. But it made me realize that as much as you want to, you can't actually control your life because it's not yours to begin with. Then again, it'll be nice to stay in a loft in LA with a cat or two.

Cat Donation Drive

So I came across this public appeal for donations to help cats get medical treatment, sterilization and cat food. One of the beneficiaries include cats from St John's Island and Lazarus Island which are by far the prettiest cats I've seen when I went there in January recently. My friends and I managed to feed some of the cats there and they seemed pretty famished. I get the sense that the locals do feed the kitties but I wouldn't say that the island boasts shops that readily sell cat food like in Singapore. If you'd like to lend a helping hand, do click on the link below! Have a great day :)

http://www.geofundit.com/Cat-Welfare-Society/campaigns/Help-us-save-the-cats

It's always comforting to meet a friend after what seemed like years when in fact it's just been a few months. Sometimes I get too caught up in making new acquaintances that I tend to forget the old ones. And I learned a little bit more about myself today. Firstly, I need fo use more emoticons in my text messages. Secondly, that I need to work on my first impression. However, first impressions do not hold true in most cases like mine, evidently but yes could use some improvement nonetheless! Anyway, happy birthday Asyraf (even though we were not aware of it the entire time which made Nizam and I look like the worst people on this planet). Looking forward to seeing these two in NTU in the next semester!🙆

I once read a post about the heart. How it hardens and becomes cold because you strayed, distancing yourself from God. I love God, I really do. But every time I try to get closer to Him, my life trembles a little, and then all at once, it shatters. Why then? I find myself recoiling back, seeking comfort in things that I know will destroy me. "If you do it, I'll do it too." I did not then. Words. They don't matter anymore now, do they? "You push people away." Because they exhaust me. "How long are you going to be like this?" I did not let you stay long enough to find out.

Retracing my steps and smoothing out the flaws will not be easy. But maybe, just maybe it'll get better than this.

Two weeks into Year 2, Semester 2 and I am already mentally exhausted. Registered for 5 modules although technically I am doing 6 since I signed up for an online module. I seek comfort in the fact that I have no lessons on Friday (hurrah!) which means that I can work more and use the time to pull up my (less-than-mediocre) CGPA. My goal to go on exchange next semester is unfortunately tarnished. Nonetheless, I need to assure myself that "Your grades do not define you!" as quoted by the lovely Jenn Im. 

On a side note, I had a really toned down birthday celebration this year compared to the previous years. Initially, my mom wanted me to invite 10 friends to a buffet dinner with the family but I was against it because 1) I would like to think that I have more than 10 friends 2) I don't want to hurt those who were not invited  Instead, I had a steamboat dinner with the family and for dessert a cake that screams "Happy Valentine's Day (who gives a fuck if you're still single)!!!" 

A few days before my actual birthday, I had dinner at Al-Azhar with a few of jc cliquemates and it ended with a surprise as Glenn fished out a slice of chocolate cake from Starbucks (I had to laugh). Unfortunately, I failed to blow out the candles because the fan above us was too strong and we failed miserably in re-lighting them. 

A few days later, my other group pf friends celebrated my advanced birthday at Sarah's Pancakes cafe. And I got to indulge in MJ - pancakes wifh white and dark chocolate chips yums, topped with ice-cream. I recall staring at MJ pancakes for so long when I was at Sarah's previously. It was my friend's so I felt obligated to have a bite or two only but it's alright cause I had Eggs Ben pancakes with slabs of salmon so all's good hehe. 

And then my birthday week ended with a visit to the Singapore Art Museum kindly accompanied by Faris. The intention was to go to the photo booth which was actually located in another SAM building a few blocks away. We had fun still, exploring and deciphering the various artworks and installations. 

 

Coffee recommendation by Faris and as much as the Koreans love their Americano, these Cafe Latte and Cafe Mocha left me wanting more but I end  up on the toilet bowl instead. 

Second time trying the much applauded rainbow crepe from I Am Cafe. Despite being a sweet tooth, I liked that it was not overwhelming sweet. I tried the rainbow cake previously and of the two, I very much preferred the crepe. (:

A week nearer to my finals and I am as unfocused as ever. Probably because of the upcoming Bali trip after finals. I'm really looking forward to it because firstly, I was cooped up at home for three months/summer holidays as I needed to recuperate due to eye surgery and secondly, I've never been to freaking Bali! ☺️ Then again, I should not hold too high of an expection because it might lead to disappointments sigh and God forbid that'd happen. 😰

On a side note, I tried prawning for the first time at Pasir Ris Farmway. I managed to catch a prawn! $28 for 2.5 hours for a prawn. That's quite a catch lol. I guess I'm really not cut out for activities that require utmost patience. However, I do want to try fishing though. 

Afterward we had dinner at Sakura buffet. I enjoyed barbequeing the meat though I must admit that the food generally didn't suit my tastebuds. However, the ambience and the company made up for it so it was not all too bad of an experience. (: