I once read a post about the heart. How it hardens and becomes cold because you strayed, distancing yourself from God. I love God, I really do. But every time I try to get closer to Him, my life trembles a little, and then all at once, it shatters. Why then? I find myself recoiling back, seeking comfort in things that I know will destroy me. "If you do it, I'll do it too." I did not then. Words. They don't matter anymore now, do they? "You push people away." Because they exhaust me. "How long are you going to be like this?" I did not let you stay long enough to find out.

Retracing my steps and smoothing out the flaws will not be easy. But maybe, just maybe it'll get better than this.